From the Highs to the Lows // Updates

Good morning and Happy Aloha Friday, everyone! Okay so back in February our family experienced quite a few new changes, so now I'm here (two months later), to give an update. Specifically the workout & homeschool updates. 

I'm going to start with the workout side of things. So at the end of February, I mentioned here how I was ready to switch up my workout routine. I was feeling a break from Turtle Bay and wanted to start up Crossfit again, so that's what I did! I ended my membership at Turtle Bay and started back up at Crossfit and it was great! Both the hubby and I started up together and we loved getting back in to that routine again.

However, as I also mentioned recently, I started homeschooling my kids at this time too, so although I got off to a great start with the working out and homeschooling (and just life in general), after a few weeks I started noticing myself not having enough energy to work out anymore. I slowly started going from working out daily to working out maybe every other day. And although that wasn't ideal, I still felt fine about it. I thought, at least I'm getting that much in, that's better than nothing, right? But now I'm doing even less than that and am working out maybe every couple of days/once or twice a week. I guess that's still better than nothing, but I am really not feeling satisfied with that. I don't know what it is, but I have been feeling so unmotivated to work out lately. 

I don't know if it's because my morning routine has been disrupted (with now having to homeschool my kids in the mornings), I don't know if it's because I literally just don't have any ENERGY LEFT to work out now (again due to having to homeschool two kids plus watch another two kids/babies on top of that), I don't know if it has something to do with the time of the day that I'm planning to do my workouts? But whatever the case, it just isn't happening right now. Maybe by that time of the day (evenings) I'm just too tired, drained, and lazy, which results in me feeling unmotivated.

What's worse, is that I can tell I am going even more downhill in this area and it is not good. I just returned home from a family trip to Utah and now I really don't want to work out, which is weird because usually after a trip I am even more pumped to get on it (because of the lack of routine and healthy living that happens on these trips). I don't know what it is exactly (maybe a mix of all of the things I mentioned previously), but I am just not sure I'm going to be able to shake this. At least not any time soon. My motivation level has been zero lately and at this point, I don't even think typing this for accountability is going to work on me. The month of May just might end up being a dud, not gonna lie. 

On top of that, homeschooling has even become a bit of a drag now. Don't get me wrong, it isn't bad or horrible or anything of the sort, but now that the excitement of that new change has died down and now that we don't have any other world-school field trips lined up to look forward to (due to another change that is coming up next month), I feel like we've kind of hit a bit of a plateau there too. 

Even Hina has been starting to complain again and whine about this or that (when things start to feel too hard or like too much work for her). She has been a bit of a challenge lately and it's been a bummer since we got off to such a great start. I have been starting to become less patient with her as well (like how I was before when she would bring schoolwork home) and it's just frustrating because I want school to be a positive experience for her. In fact that was one of my goals with homeschooling--it was to change her experience with it from negative to positive--but I don't know, things are starting to get shaky again and I know that's not good. It's not good for her, it's not good for me, and it's not good for her future. She still has many years of schooling ahead of her. This is just the beginning; it can't be this way!

**As a side note: if you are really confused by this post you can always go back and read why I started homeschooling here. This post is just an update to that.

And sorry, I don't mean to vent, but this is the direction homeschooling has been taking lately. Thank goodness for my work trips here and there though, that allow me to have breaks from that and from my kids. I seriously don't know what I'd do without that right now. How do other Moms do it? I don't know, but these little layover breaks have been my saving grace through it all. If I didn't have this I think I would probably be on the verge of a melt down or something. Seriously! But instead, I am sitting here on a big comfy bed....in a nice hotel room....by myself....with absolutely no noise around me....enjoying the peace and quiet that comes with being alone.

Aaaaah this is nice. Who knew I'd ever enjoy being alone? In a quiet room. I mean not even the TV is on right now, like who am I? Haha. I guess mom life and just life in general can do that to you at times. Thank the Lord for this job though. Never knew being away from my family now and then, would actually be a blessing.

And am I a horrible person for saying that? For a second there I almost feel bad for even saying such a thing. But no, I can't feel bad about it and I won't. Moms need breaks at times and Moms deserve them. So I'm taking back those "bad" feelings I was just starting to feel and I am just going to enjoy this moment. Alone. In my hotel room. Not going to let those thoughts steal my thunder and take this joy away from me. I am enjoying this and that is okay. I don't have to be a Mom 24/7, I can be me too. 

It is so easy for us Moms to lose ourselves in the midst of all the Mommy-ing and family life. In fact, I can feel that happening to me now that the excitement of this new phase of life is dying down and all I am left with are the realities of it, which is that it is hard work, it's time consuming, and it takes up all of my energy.

Okay whoa, what a downer this post has become, however, I said I would be real with you guys sharing the highs and the lows, the successes and the failures, so there it is as promised. But instead of ending on a low, I would like to point out all the pros and perks to homeschooling, because there are many of those too and they can't go without being said. So without further ado:

  • One of the first things I noticed once starting homeschooling was the relief I felt every morning not having to get my kids up early and ready for school. It feels so good to just sleep in every morning and wake up when my body wants to wake up (or when I am forced up by the baby). However, all of my kids have been sleeping in and it has been great. No more rushing and yelling in the mornings for me; a huge and unexpected perk that I have loved so far!

  • Another thing is the freedom of schedule. I love being able to do what I want, when I want. If something last minute comes up, it's fine because we can always adjust our homeschool schedule to do something else that we want or need to do. Or if we have visitors, for example, we can easily still make plans with them since our kids aren't in school. Usually our kids just have to miss out on whatever it is we are doing at that time. Now they don't have to miss anything! We can always do homeschool in the afternoon or evening if need be.

  • Third, trips. My family has been able to go on layovers with me and it has been awesome. I've been getting paid to take a few family vacays (and without having to deal with the school absent notes) either!! Umm...winning?!! Also, nothing beats family time. Those three family trips that we've taken since the kids have been homeschooling have been awesome. Those are the memories that can never be taken away from us. Those are the moments that I live for. Click here and here to check out those field trips. So awesome!

  • Fourth, I love that we can do homeschooling anywhere. If we feel the need to get out of the house we can do it at the playground (while the little ones are playing), we can do it at the beach (while the other three are swimming), we can do it outside of appointments while we are waiting. The possibilities are endless; you can pretty much do it anywhere! I've even been able to do it on drives to Costco while we're in the car. (When Spencer is driving, of course.)

  • And lastly, I love knowing exactly where my kids are at in their schooling. What their strengths are, what their weaknesses are, what they like, what they don't like. I feel like I know my children so much better now and that is also something that is priceless that I wouldn't have experienced otherwise. Not that you can't get to know your children in other ways if they go to public or private school, but for me personally, I just know it wouldn't have happened without doing it this way. It may have been forced, if you will, but I have loved this new discovery and have loved taking my relationship with my kids to new heights.

So as you can see, there have been many pros and cons to this new lifestyle, but the cons haven't been for naught. Although I am starting to struggle a bit in the self-care department, I am gaining priceless moments, experiences, and knowledge in other areas. See the struggle there? Such a strange feeling, honestly. I still don't know how to deal with it all and feel like my emotions are literally all over the place, but maybe I just need a little bit more time to figure this all out. After all, it is a huge change. (And again, like I said before, a lot of change in a short amount of time.)

Okay well I think I better end this now. Did not mean to go in to that much detail, but there it is. From the high of highs, to the low of lows.....

Please let me know if you have any thoughts (even if you don't agree with me) or if you can relate to this in any way. From one mama/parent to another.....Xoxo!